What am I being invited to release in order to do this?
Expectations. Releasing expectations is so real for me and it’s funny because I am supporting a dear friend of mine through her process of Yoga Teacher Training and this is what we discuss.
We all reflect back to each other the things we need to see you know? If someone reflects love and kindness back to me, maybe it’s because I need to see the love and kindness within myself. Wow. I’ve never thought of it that way so explicitly before because I’ve always learned it like…
If something that someone does bothers you it’s because you actually do that thing yourself and this is something you need to address within you. But what if it’s that you are receiving goodness, kindness, love, abundance, etc. That must mean that you are reflecting that and you have that within yourself.
EVEN IF IT DOESN’T FEEL LIKE IT. Boom Beezy. Even if it doesn’t feel like it. Kindness begets kindness. Generosity begets generosity. I have been obsessing over if I am generous or not. Obsessing over it.
I am also listening to an audio version of The Book of Joy. It is the beautiful story of a meeting of the Dalai Lama and Archbishop Desmond Tutu. Absolutely incredible. They met in India to have a series of conversations about joy. It’s been such an incredible journey to listen to these men talk about joy because they have so much lived experience. They can simplify an entire life into a sentence in a way – when they relay their lessons learned and beliefs when it comes to joy. So I love listening to it because it offers me perspective that I truly value.
So yes … I feel like there are times where I don’t feel like I am doing a certain thing or being a certain way and then because of that I cannot see that what I am receiving is a direct reflection of that thing. I want to start noticing.
So that means releasing expectations, releasing limiting beliefs and fears that I am not the way I want to be. AND START NOTICING WHAT I ATTRACT AND RECEIVE. That looks harsh eh?
And start noticing what I am attracting and receiving. I am proud of myself. I had to make a certain amount of money in this past week to cover my expenses. Well actually a certain amount of money by October 1 to cover my expenses. And I’ve surpassed that amount as of yesterday. It feels good. I hope that it may continue.
So who is around me and what do they make me feel you know? That is what I want to replace in my mind. So it means releasing expectations that I have to be a certain way. Releasing expectations, pressure, beliefs – ultimately releasing anything which draws its origins from fear.
I have been reading a book by Brian Weiss called Miracles Happen. It’s about past life regressions. I really wonder about all of that. I really really wonder about it. Like have I had past lives? Do I resonate with them? What am I healing from? Do I believe in it? So I read books like these because I want to read stories of other people who have experienced it. I want to know.
It’s a fascinating thing. The word release though. The word seems so simple but in fact it’s layered and magnified and compact.
I am working on a new project to organize my life in a way that leaves as much space as possible for me to be present without “things to do” and in a way that facilitates me being able to be present in everything I choose to do as well. I love this because it has given me an opportunity to chat with someone whose skill I trust to help me develop this. It has also allowed me to articulate something that feels really poignant to me…
…that I like things to end up simple, spacious and compact.
I realized that maybe spacious and compact don’t go together but actually now I know they do. If something is compact, layered, deep, considered with care – then it can be presented in a simple way with loads of space around it. Loads of space around it to unpack things if you want to.
So I realized that the process of things getting messy, loads of details, considering all the options, that is a part of how I have been in the world. And I think it’s a part of how I’d like to continue to be in the world. On purpose. Learning, experiencing, considering all the options and then drawing down the ones that feel aligned, making things more compact. Leaving space for me to be. Leaving space for things to come and go.
I wonder how that will work. Where does the space belong?
I want so badly to experience these things that some of these people experience in their stories. Witnessing angels, seeing angels, feeling spirits, receiving messages, past-life regressions. I want to witness the thinness of the veil because it seems to provide such relief for people.
I think I am on my way. I hope that I will be able to release my chokehold on this material life and plane and humanity in this one and only form that I know it. May I experience the relief and a deepening of my faith in the spiritual nature of everything that is.
Releasing the chokehold. Releasing the grip. On everything. Open hands, hope heart. Flexible spine, flexible mind (thanks to Tamira McGillivray for this one).
** Photo credit to the talented Marisa Melito
What am I being invited to release in order to do this?
What is supporting me in this sacred work?
Where am I on my Soul’s journey at this moment?
How am I being asked to be of service at this time?
Consider what you’d like to learn about yourself through this retrograde and set an intention to do so.
Watch what makes your blood boil, what makes you want to take shortcuts, and watch yourself when you want to take on extra projects.
More about me: