To accept what I cannot understand

Alright I’m just going to let this one float out of the fingertips of a gal who has been transforming since … BIRTH hahahah really we all are transforming from the moment we exist. But here is the story – the consciousness of my own transformation has really become a skill I have been developing in this year of 2019 and especially in these past few months.

I want to share as much of it as I can because I really feel like this is what is going to help me to believe that I deserve it and to believe in the best for myself.

Do you ever feel like that? You just keep thinking about something and only to yourself. You never talk about it or tell anyone else about it – you only think it in your head. You don’t even speak it aloud in your own company.

The energy of the Universe is the same energy as our energy. All energy is the same right? So our thoughts are energy – the energy of our thoughts is the same as the energy of the Universe. This is it … right? Well something about speaking – the energy of the voice – seems to me to change the source of where it comes from.

Not that any one source is better than another source. BUTTTT I do feel that when I speak aloud – what I say comes from my heart and soul more than it does my mind. When I think it’s all in my mind. Even when I write it is all in my mind. Hence my struggle at times with writing.

Speaking things into existence – it’s like that is the direct extension to the universe. Whereas thinking them and keeping them inside seems to be an email lol. It’s like… these below are my thoughts lol …

I really want to make it. I want this tour to be successful. I want to let go of the guilt that I feel for being born.

Sent to:

Then I write it and it’s a little bit like this … these are my writings …

Here’s the real thing that I discovered this morning – IF it was a mistake … {cut this bit out cuz it’s sensitive to me right now} it’s NOT MY MISTAKE. So there is nothing to forgive for me and so that means there is no reason for the guilt. Right? Right.

I want to write some prayers. I recently connected with this learning – that there is a significant difference between prayer and mediation though they are deeply connected. So I realized that I haven’t been meditating I’ve been praying through visualization. And that words are pictures. They create pictures. So I want to write prayers to help me articulate the images that I want to see.


Sent to: connections to the universe through human beings and the internet

Speaking it aloud however – whether it’s to myself or to another – is like this



What do you think about that?!

Does it work? I sure as hell think it does.

I also want to state this …

Prayer. Meditation. There’s a difference.

  • prayer is words and images – prayer is spoken, thought, prayer is tangible and initiated in the senses of sight, taste and touch
  • meditation – is listening. pure listening and awareness

Here are my prayers: well I haven’t written them yet but I am going to write one now.

I pray I may be filled with courage and faith to reveal myself to the world without fear. I pray that my mind may be free of distractions and my vision be clear. I pray that I may understand what a blessing I am to this world and how amazing it is to be alive. I pray that I may root and blossom with permission to do so simply because I exist.

Oh mannn oh mannn.

I’ve gotten distracted now because my lunch is ready. So I will go and eat.

To any of you angels out there who are thinking the thing – say it. Say it aloud. You deserve it.

I write it here for myself. I deserve it. But so. do. you.

With love always.


Talk soon,







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